Recent events...
Sep. 14th, 2004 09:44 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
x-pete.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
x_staffThis is uncharacteristic, but that Josh creature's gotten right up my nose with his smug attempt at moral superiority. And Paige turned out so bloody well, too.
Anyyway, I'm about to attempt some guidance counselling for the masses.
I can hear the collective shudder from here, you know.
To which end: I have no intention of moderating the language or removing the jokes, but does anyone think I've said anything unforgivably stupid that might damage young minds here? (And if not, do you have any suggestions for something that might? I'm always looking.) Speak up, or I'll bung it on the main system where everyone can see it in a day or so.
----
As your guidance counsellor, I have the following warning to you all about the dangers of alcohol:
It'll make you feel like a right arsehole in the morning. And in extreme situations, you may get a hell of a fright when you wake up next to someone either innapropriate or ugly. God knows, I've done both, and I don't recommend either.
Consult your nearest doctor for a quide to the physical symptoms of over-indulgence, and the dangers of dependency. If they bring out the picture of the liver, then they hate you, and are trying to make you throw up for laughs.
That's your warning. Now, some clarifications. Specifically, about things alcohol is not.
1) An excuse. If you get drunk, and do something stupid, they you have done two stupid things - one, whatever it is you did, and two getting drunk enough to do it in the first place. Expect to get a bollocking for both.
2) A crutch. It will not make your life better, or your problems go away. In fact, it will give a headache, and you'll still have all your old problems. Attempting to use it like a crutch is stupid, and will only lead to problems. For one thing, you may wind up on a twelve step program, and that means godbothering.
3) (And this is the really important thing, so pay attention.) Something about which one can claim any kind of moral high ground. You don't drink? That's fine. Bet you've done something extremely stupid at some other time, without the aid of a drink. (Which means you also did two stupid things: whatever it was, and the lapse of judgement that lead you to do whatever it was, and can expect a bollocking for both, too.) I also bet that give a reasonable amount of time, and incentive, I can find out what. If you are completely confident that you have never done anything stupid that you'd rather people not find out about, then by all means, point and laugh at others when they do something stupid. By all means, assert your superiority. It'll be nice to know who it is around here that's hiding all the answers.
I am aware that standards differ. I am aware that some of you have been raised to believe that people who drink are all mad and evil, and out to do terrible things to your pets. I am afraid to tell you that you have been lied to. People who drink are just like you. You do not get to tell them that they are Bad and Wrong, and they do not get to tell you that you are Boring and Stuck-Up, because neither thing is true.
For the record: I drink, I smoke, and I do other things that your parents would probably be appalled to hear about. I am not a role model. Accusing me of being a bad one would only be stating the blindingly bloody obvious.
I am not a role model, and nor should anyone else be expected to be, 24/7. If you feel you need a role model 24/7, then I suggest attempting to organise some people into working shifts for you, or possibly just developing a personality of your own.
Anyyway, I'm about to attempt some guidance counselling for the masses.
I can hear the collective shudder from here, you know.
To which end: I have no intention of moderating the language or removing the jokes, but does anyone think I've said anything unforgivably stupid that might damage young minds here? (And if not, do you have any suggestions for something that might? I'm always looking.) Speak up, or I'll bung it on the main system where everyone can see it in a day or so.
----
As your guidance counsellor, I have the following warning to you all about the dangers of alcohol:
It'll make you feel like a right arsehole in the morning. And in extreme situations, you may get a hell of a fright when you wake up next to someone either innapropriate or ugly. God knows, I've done both, and I don't recommend either.
Consult your nearest doctor for a quide to the physical symptoms of over-indulgence, and the dangers of dependency. If they bring out the picture of the liver, then they hate you, and are trying to make you throw up for laughs.
That's your warning. Now, some clarifications. Specifically, about things alcohol is not.
1) An excuse. If you get drunk, and do something stupid, they you have done two stupid things - one, whatever it is you did, and two getting drunk enough to do it in the first place. Expect to get a bollocking for both.
2) A crutch. It will not make your life better, or your problems go away. In fact, it will give a headache, and you'll still have all your old problems. Attempting to use it like a crutch is stupid, and will only lead to problems. For one thing, you may wind up on a twelve step program, and that means godbothering.
3) (And this is the really important thing, so pay attention.) Something about which one can claim any kind of moral high ground. You don't drink? That's fine. Bet you've done something extremely stupid at some other time, without the aid of a drink. (Which means you also did two stupid things: whatever it was, and the lapse of judgement that lead you to do whatever it was, and can expect a bollocking for both, too.) I also bet that give a reasonable amount of time, and incentive, I can find out what. If you are completely confident that you have never done anything stupid that you'd rather people not find out about, then by all means, point and laugh at others when they do something stupid. By all means, assert your superiority. It'll be nice to know who it is around here that's hiding all the answers.
I am aware that standards differ. I am aware that some of you have been raised to believe that people who drink are all mad and evil, and out to do terrible things to your pets. I am afraid to tell you that you have been lied to. People who drink are just like you. You do not get to tell them that they are Bad and Wrong, and they do not get to tell you that you are Boring and Stuck-Up, because neither thing is true.
For the record: I drink, I smoke, and I do other things that your parents would probably be appalled to hear about. I am not a role model. Accusing me of being a bad one would only be stating the blindingly bloody obvious.
I am not a role model, and nor should anyone else be expected to be, 24/7. If you feel you need a role model 24/7, then I suggest attempting to organise some people into working shifts for you, or possibly just developing a personality of your own.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 01:45 pm (UTC)And we can't have that happen, oh Counseling One. No, we can't.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 03:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 06:16 pm (UTC)And right now, the thought of eloping has tremendous appeal. We could make it a week long thing then break up with a lot of melodrama and stuff?
You're forgetting something rather simple.
Date: 2004-09-14 01:55 pm (UTC)That's one of the reasons we're here with the kids.
And your point 3 is way off base, says the Muslim. :)
Salaam,
Haroun
Re: You're forgetting something rather simple.
Date: 2004-09-14 02:07 pm (UTC)I honestly think it's better that the kids understand simply and clearly that you cannot hold someone up as a role model 24/7, and that chastising someone for failing to live up to that standard is just plain stupid, and only going to end badly for all concerned. I'd rather they got that message over something like this, than one of them finding out details about my extracurricular activities.
Amen
Date: 2004-09-14 02:14 pm (UTC)Mon Dieu, yes. I'm discreet, not dead.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 01:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 02:03 pm (UTC)I'm sure some people are wondering where I am in this discussion, as I've been curiously quiet. Suffice to say I do not wish to settle my weight on the seesaw unless quite necessary. It's the sort of caution one learns when one is of a size like my own.
no subject
Date: 2004-09-14 02:11 pm (UTC)And I'm happy to bring out my liver slides. Got a whole presentation on the effects of alcohol on the human body. Which reminds me, Cece, Health and Wellness could do with that one, I think. *eg*
Yo.
Date: 2004-09-14 03:27 pm (UTC)