There's probably not a lot of point us continuing this line of conversation - I'm willing to believe that's what happened, and I'm not such a monster that I don't have sympathy for you and yours and your loss, and I completely believe that you have done anything you could to spare her what she went through.

But it doesn't change what happened, and I'm not someone with a forgiving disposition.

But my views don't actually matter very much, and Amanda's quite a bit nicer than I am. Give her time and space, and let her come to own decisions, and I'll support whatever she wants.