Is this thing on?
Feb. 4th, 2004 10:00 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
x-rogue.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
x_staffTo stave off any questions (Pete) on whether or not I've been eating psych books instead of meals (Logan), the answer is yes. My Amazon book orders look like a small psych library. Also, I should apologize for the somewhat paranoid attitude lately. Draining people who are sneaky and paranoid by profession leaves a lingering veil that tints everything in frightening colours. It seems to be passing. Now that we have that out of the way, I just wanted to put a few thoughts out there.
I'm thinking back to when I came here, after everything that happened to me and wondering how the heck I got through all that and then through Stryker without ever feeling the need to turn this place into a fortress. I realize that what it was was a really healthy balance.
First, I was training on teams. That was important because it gave me a sense of belonging and comfort and the knowledge that I was protected and ready to protect myself. Even kindergartens have a buddy system and a fire drill and lessons on what to do when a stranger tries to steal or touches you wrong. This is basic, and it's not damaging. Preparation is less traumatic than damage control. That's why I think that kids finding ways to defend themselves and feel safe is a good idea. I think, though, it's got to be overseen by the authority figures around here. It's got to be sanctioned and controlled and even graded. That takes the glare off of it, y'know?
Second, there was the normalcy thing. Things were 'normal'. They're not right now. The adults here are showing the signs of strain and that's not good. Back after I came here, people were still pretty relaxed and looked well-slept and no one needed their classes covered too much. I don't know how to fix this. People need to be where they say they're going to be and the kids here need to feel like when they walk into your office for something, they're coming to someone who knows the score. I'm positive people were just faking it better 18+ months ago.
Then, there's the third thing I was thinking of, and that's the counter-balance to the self-defense aspect of things. We've got to see that it's not like that all the time and that words are going to get us further than guns or a sharp blow to the throat. Role models. Not just on TV, but in person, up close. We've got a few of them rattling around, you know? We need something like Saturday seminars or Friday afternoons, something. The kids need to start their own pro-mutant 'zines and websites, Jamie's got to be encouraged to start throwing together pilot episodes and sit-com proposals. We need to go see and talk to the grown-up versions of what we hope the kids here are going to become.
They need to be out interviewing and writing and filming and photographing and documenting visions for their future. They need to sit in circles, not in desks, and talk to one another and to people who have made the paths for them to follow. They need hands-on work, not printouts or texts. They need to work together, not be divided up by age. They need to get out into the community, build some houses for Habitat for Humanity or work in a soup kitchen. We need to connect to the world out there as well as the one in here and not just on the premise of being mutants, but on the premise of being people who have as much right to live here and as much power to change it as anyone else.
I suppose that's about all I've got on the subject. I don't know if I'm right, but it's been less than two years since I was more scared, on a personal and general level, than most of these kids, and I think I made it through okay until I hit the wall, but that was all personal crap, not the issue at hand. I've been wracking my brain for what got me through, and I think this is most of it.
I'm thinking back to when I came here, after everything that happened to me and wondering how the heck I got through all that and then through Stryker without ever feeling the need to turn this place into a fortress. I realize that what it was was a really healthy balance.
First, I was training on teams. That was important because it gave me a sense of belonging and comfort and the knowledge that I was protected and ready to protect myself. Even kindergartens have a buddy system and a fire drill and lessons on what to do when a stranger tries to steal or touches you wrong. This is basic, and it's not damaging. Preparation is less traumatic than damage control. That's why I think that kids finding ways to defend themselves and feel safe is a good idea. I think, though, it's got to be overseen by the authority figures around here. It's got to be sanctioned and controlled and even graded. That takes the glare off of it, y'know?
Second, there was the normalcy thing. Things were 'normal'. They're not right now. The adults here are showing the signs of strain and that's not good. Back after I came here, people were still pretty relaxed and looked well-slept and no one needed their classes covered too much. I don't know how to fix this. People need to be where they say they're going to be and the kids here need to feel like when they walk into your office for something, they're coming to someone who knows the score. I'm positive people were just faking it better 18+ months ago.
Then, there's the third thing I was thinking of, and that's the counter-balance to the self-defense aspect of things. We've got to see that it's not like that all the time and that words are going to get us further than guns or a sharp blow to the throat. Role models. Not just on TV, but in person, up close. We've got a few of them rattling around, you know? We need something like Saturday seminars or Friday afternoons, something. The kids need to start their own pro-mutant 'zines and websites, Jamie's got to be encouraged to start throwing together pilot episodes and sit-com proposals. We need to go see and talk to the grown-up versions of what we hope the kids here are going to become.
They need to be out interviewing and writing and filming and photographing and documenting visions for their future. They need to sit in circles, not in desks, and talk to one another and to people who have made the paths for them to follow. They need hands-on work, not printouts or texts. They need to work together, not be divided up by age. They need to get out into the community, build some houses for Habitat for Humanity or work in a soup kitchen. We need to connect to the world out there as well as the one in here and not just on the premise of being mutants, but on the premise of being people who have as much right to live here and as much power to change it as anyone else.
I suppose that's about all I've got on the subject. I don't know if I'm right, but it's been less than two years since I was more scared, on a personal and general level, than most of these kids, and I think I made it through okay until I hit the wall, but that was all personal crap, not the issue at hand. I've been wracking my brain for what got me through, and I think this is most of it.
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no subject
Date: 2004-02-04 04:24 pm (UTC)It may be a radical suggestion, but that may possibly have something to do with people feeling more insecure now than before.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-05 12:39 am (UTC)Exactly what kind of search did you do, mmm? This little bird is all curious and a wonderin', all of a sudden.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-05 01:00 am (UTC)And that's where I'm burned out right now. Not on having to defend the mansion when needed (oh and Pete? I'd like to talk to you about this forgetting thing...) or going out on missions, or missing doing what I've always wanted to be doing and what I do best so bad I don't even know where or why I am anymore... I can actually deal with that. Mostly.
But being treated like the big bad jailor out to ruin their lives?
Naw. Sorry, I'm through with that. The ones who do want to talk to me will always find an open door. And that, it would seem, actually includes pretty much all of those who'd be inclined to do the going out for hands-on work thing - and a few that wouldn't, but don't treat me like the First Evil either. But I'm not breaking myself on those who won't have anything to do with me.
It'd be unfair to those who do want my help.
And as such, this is where I put my money where my mouth is. I'll be talking to Jamie tomorrow. I've got the contacts he needs in the entertainment industry, some good ones I'm not burned out on in fact. And while they can't help me get back my career by any stretch of the imagination, they'll love having a crack at helping Jamie and the other kids out with changing things, one step at a time, in a non-confrontational way.
In fact, I think I'll go make a general post offering to help anyone who'd like a stab at the entertainment industry, and the people I can still talk to there. Yep.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-05 01:22 am (UTC)That's one of the reasons I /really/ don't want the job. I knew you were way overworked, but that's beyond the pale, Alison, I'm so sorry. Makes me want to put some of them over my knee, I tell you.
As for offering to help, I think that's brilliant of you. What do you think about the idea of also getting the kids together just to make their own movies and things like that? I love Jamie's idea and I think that anything the kids here can do that's constructive and creative should be tried. Besides, when I was 14, we did a movie project in media class and it was some of the best fun I've had. Makes me kind of want to do it again myself.
Oh, I have to email you re: Artie and art class. Ugh, you're just talking about how burnt out you are and I'm going to ask you a favour. I'll cover it myself if needed, I just thought you were person #1 to consult. Email incoming.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-05 01:56 am (UTC)Heh. Wait till you see my post. I think you'll like it. And yeah, movie project is part of it, in a way. You'll see.
Re: the email, send away, for sure. I think I'm pretty safe with Artie. (I say this, and yet I doubt I could say no to anyone willingly asking me for help, or accepting it, you know? It's the throwing back in my face thing I'm not good at handling these days. Bitter old hag that I am. ;) )
Oh, and I meant to mention this in my comment, but got sidetracked.
There's an early morning training session which I usually attend pretty every day - have been ever since Scott started training me. Not always a lot of people there, but I thought you knew... since apparently not, just wanted to let you know that your presence would be welcome, anytime. Hank is usually there for one (when he's not tied up in the medlab).
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Date: 2004-02-05 05:46 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-05 06:13 pm (UTC)