Houston, we have a problem.

[x-madelyn.livejournal.com]

All right, saying we have a problem is probably a bit on the obvious side, but it's nearly 2 in the morning and I reserve the right to be obvious.

The problem, fellow faculty, is this: we've lost touch with the kids.

Twice in the past week I've had separate kids tell me that the reason they don't ask for help is that they feel that other people are more important, or that we're too busy and they don't want to add to it. In the past couple of months, we've had one kid nearly blow himself up because he didn't trust us to help with his problem, another have a relapse into an addiction that nearly resulted in another student being killed, despite copious warning signs. Another who managed to hide the fact she still has some kind of connection to a demon dimension (and no, the number of times I type that doesn't change how ridiculous it sounds to me...) and nearly was eviscerated because of it. And today we nearly lost another because he decided he was the only one who was capable of stopping the shooting today. By putting himself in the firing line.

We're losing them here, people, and if we don't do something to address it, the next time could be the time our luck runs out. It's something that's going to take more than a couple of outings to an amusement park to fix. We need to start establishing relationships with these kids, talk to them, find out what's bothering them, whether they approach us first or not, because we sure as hell have seen how effective that is. Seriously, something has to change, or otherwise we're looking at the telepaths doing probes on the kids' heads every minute, and that's just ridiculous.

Down in the medlab, we've got a mentoring system with the helpers. We each have one of them assigned to us, based on interests and personalities, and we keep an eye on them, teach them, and just sometimes talk about nothing in particular. I know Nathan has a similar thing going on with his tribe of misfits - Angelo and Amanda have been in far less trouble and more inclined to ask for help because of it.

I don't know if it's feasible, extending this sort of thing to include the student body and faculty as a whole, or even if it's a good idea, which is why I'm tossing it up here. Sending the idea up the flagpole and see who salutes, I suppose. And it wouldn't be compulsory, either for student or teacher, since it doesn't work if forced. And it's not a matter of being a counsellor or anything similar - it's just a matter of touching base with the kids, showing them we're available to talk to, about anything. Anything serious, steer them straight to Leonard - it's what I ended up doing tonight with one of mine, after all.

So, is this crazy 2am talk, or do I have even a vague grasp on something here? I do know we have to do something. The next kid I have to give CPR to may not be as lucky as Doug.

Comments

[x-cyclops.livejournal.com]

I think if anyone wanted to take on that sort of role - in an informal sense, I'm assuming you mean; the idea of any kind of organized mentoring program would set the kids howling, I'd think - they should. Like you said, some of us do it already, and maybe those who would be suited for it but don't will see this and decide that it would be a good idea to start.

And it's not crazy 2am talk. It's a practical suggestion.

[x-dazzler.livejournal.com]

...

You know. We can't make them want to talk to us. We can't make them want to trust us. We can't make their life choices smooth and easy for them.

Much as we might want to.

We are there. I'm going to say that Doug sure as hell knew he could talk to me. Circumstances and his choices are what made it so that he didn't. Doesn't make things any easier for me and I can tell myself it's my fault all I want, but I'd rather not add this as well on top of things right now, no way. And yes, this involves the fact that several people have told me to not do that. I'm trying to listen.

There's a line beyond what we can do and what is up to them to decide to do and it's not one we can push beyond of. I've been here over a year and while the kids are slowly growing up and starting to see there's more to life than what they decide there is, they're still not done growing up yet.

And for all that they're teenagers and like to do the finger pointing thing a lot, they are also used to far more independence than the average kid. And ultimately, they're responsible for their own actions and choices.

Some of the kids do trust us and talk to us. Some do stay out of trouble. It's just that the ones who get in trouble tend to do it in the most spectacular way in creation so we tend to forget the rest. Comes with the territory, the way things are that much bigger as well as the powers and backgrounds people have here. We just plain aren't a normal school.

As for the mentoring - some of us already do that. Others who want to should as well, obviously. And you could easily say that it's one of "mine" who hauled off and did the Stupid, if that's how you want to look at it. Wish he'd talked to me or someone else, you have no idea how much. But he didn't and that was his choice, as much as I wish he'd chosen to do otherwise.

And now if you haven't had any sleep since I left the medlab, I'm going to head back down and make sure you do just that.

[x-bamf.livejournal.com]

I agree, Madelyn. And I would be happy to put my name forward as a mentor for one or two students, or more if necessary.

It would have to be an informal arrangement, though, or develop naturally as it did with Nathan and the students he mentors. Any attempt to make it compulsory would only serve to alienate our more troubled students.

[x-cable.livejournal.com]

I don't know, Maddie. The mentoring, formal or not, is a good idea, I agree with that, but there's a limit to how much we can do to get them to trust us. You use me as an example, but I missed Amanda's addiction problem recurring, didn't I?

It does have to go both ways, especially with the older kids, especially if they're wanting to be taken more seriously as near-adults. I agree with doing what we can to reach out to them more, but it needs to be made more clear to them that they have responsibilities as well. We can't work without information, and we can't ride herd on each and every single one of them all the time.