I owe you all an apology...

[x-cyclops.livejournal.com]

... for my tone yesterday. There's a certain amount of irony - or should that be hypocrisy? - in me snapping like that over the journals, given what I'd just been telling the kids. I'm going to do my best to follow my own advice, and hope that you'll forgive me the lapse.

Part of the problem would have been avoided had I made some kind of public statement as to how I did handle things, rather than just informing Charles. I'll try to remember in future that the kids aren't the only ones who need to see that something's been done.

That said, I still believe chastising anyone involved in the argument was not appropriate at the time and would have worsened the situation. Charles is of course addressing Manuel's behavior with him; setting the kids aside for a moment, we should know that. Unless anyone else honestly believes they can successfully give Manuel de la Rocha a lecture on psionic ethics - I think I can hear Nathan laughing hysterically from Italy - I think we should leave it to the Professor.

As to whether we should have been seen to disapprove... maybe. I still think that's debatable. Manuel has misused his powers in the past. The kids know that. Most of them, at least, also know what the consequences of that were for him. I'd like to think that the lack of panic in the halls is due to them not believing he was serious and trusting us to handle it if he was.

As for the students not respecting us... I think this has come up before, hasn't it? We can't demand their respect. We can demand civility, but really, I wasn't actually seeing a lack of that directed at us yesterday. At fellow students, yes, but it's a lot more productive to address the circumstances that lead to the snarling, rather than just attack the symptom of the problem.

Finally, there's one other point I made yesterday that I don't regret making at all, even if I should have done it more temperately. Whether I should have done something differently, or communicated what I was doing more effectively, the fact is that you all left me to do it. No one, with the exception of Jean, jumped in at the time to do anything, and to be perfectly honest, folks, then is when something needed to be done. Not after the fact.

You can criticize how I handled it, and I will do my best to handle that criticism better than the kids, but you need to stop leaving me to hold the bag.

Comments

[x-kylun.livejournal.com]

I do not follow the journals as closely as perhaps I ought, and so I did not see the students' argument until after it had ended. I will try to do better.

[x-cyclops.livejournal.com]

I appreciate that, Kylun.

More than anything else, you know, I wish we could convince them to stop arguing on the journals. I think that exacerbates the situation more often than it solves anything. Too easy to dissociate actions and consequences when it's all just words on a screen.

[x-kylun.livejournal.com]

At the monastery, the common belief was that those who had time and energy to spend on frantic argument would regain their balance once that energy was spent in less harmful ways. The favorite--or, at least, the punishment that became my favorite when, as an adult, I learned its secret--was to give the offender a bucket of rice, and set them to searching through it for one particular grain. It was thoroughly pointless, could not be mistaken for anything other than what it was, and--here is the secret I learned--lasted precisely as long as the one who assigned it wished it to last, because the one particular grain the offender was searching for was whichever grain they brought back when their allotted time had passed.

I do not claim that such a punishment would work on our students. But I would be upholding a falsehood if I claimed that, on some days, the idea of imposing it did not appeal.

[x-madelyn.livejournal.com]

It's all down to communication - between us as well as between us and the kids. The way you handled things yesterday is to be applauded Scott, and I for one feel badly that you were left to deal with it. The hassles of medlab shifts. *wry* However, it has been that the ball's been dropped by all of us due to various reasons often enough that if things aren't _seen_ to be done, it's assumed they aren't.

Groundrule, perhaps? For the next time? (Since there will be, given the kids we have here) If someone is dealing with something behind the scenes, a quick note to the staff journal to let the rest of us know so we don't go clomping in with our size nines? And I think in terms of Manuel and disciplinary action, it's safe to assume Charles will have that in hand?

Something I did notice, regarding the kids who were being rude not just to the other students, but to Jean and Scott as well... it was the newer students, who haven't had a chance to get used to us. Respect has to be earned, as Scott said, and students like Jay and Forge haven't been here long enough to give us that. They've learned they have the freedom to speak they didn't have before, they just haven't had the chance to temper that with consideration of the other person. It'll come, the same way it has with the older students, like Doug and Marie-Ange, and even our resident witch.

[x-cyclops.livejournal.com]

A note to the staff journal is easy enough to do, yes, and I'll keep that in mind for next time. (I'm already assuming there will be a next time - getting pessimistic in my old age here.) I sometimes wonder whether I'm cut out for this... thinking that way doesn't come naturally. But there's more to problem-solving than just solving the problem.

And Charles has Manuel in hand, yes. He's really the only one of us who's equipped to deal with that situation.

[x-madelyn.livejournal.com]

There are few of us who are actually trained as either teachers or psychologists, Scott. We're going to mess up sometimes. And on the scale of things, it's not that bad. As long as we remember to talk to each other, like we're always telling the kids to do, we'll have less problems.

And this might be out of line here, but it seems to me people are taking things extremely personally. Critisim of someone's way of addressing a school problem isn't personal criticism. Perhaps we could all do with cultivating some professional distance?

[x-cyclops.livejournal.com]

To some extent, Maddie, I can't help but take it as personal criticism. I'm in this administrative position that I'm not particularly suited for - I've always kind of thought that - and it was very much my place to step in with Josh and with Manuel.

I suppose, if I'm going to be painfully honest here, that I was sort of patting myself on the back over having come across as something other than 'Captain Fuckwad'. This is one of the first times I think I handled things well with a couple of particularly contentious students... I used to be just terrible at that.

That being said, it doesn't excuse me snapping, and you're right about the professional distance. I'll have to give this some thought... if we're not reevaluating and trying to improve, we're standing still, right?

[x-madelyn.livejournal.com]

You know, if I'd known what you'd done, there would have been back-patting too. You dealt with a inflammatory situation and you stopped it getting worse. But coming in late - which is entirely my fault, or rather, work's - all that was visible was Manuel making threats and Dani agreeing with them, plus Forge arguing ethics with Jean - I'm guessing there was something off-camera as well, given the way Forge reversed his point of view? Now, put yourself in the place of anyone coming fresh to the argument, reading that and seeing no apparent addressing of the problem, and you have exactly what Hank - and I, once I got to it - saw. I'm not criticising the way you addressed the problem at all - just the fact no-one knew it was being done.

I know I dropped the ball on this one - badly. I was deep in researching something, and hadn't looked at the journals all day. Hank's on nights, which means he's sleeping for at least part of the day. Jean happened to be there, and that was great since at least someone was adressing part of the problem. But that's the thing with medlab shifts, they tend to play havok with our ability to be there when things are happening. I'll try harder to pull my weight, since criticism without contribution is as useful as shoes made out of icecream.

[x-jeangrey.livejournal.com]

Speaking of medlab shifts, you and Hank have been doing far more than your fair share of the nights. Want me to take the next couple weeks?

Also, where on earth did you come up with 'shoes made out of icecream' as an analogy?

[x-cyclops.livejournal.com]

Night shifts?

[x-madelyn.livejournal.com]

How about this? Next time things blow up, whichever one of us actually isn't tied up speaks up? Since this is going to keep happening.

And shoes made out of icecream is one of my kid sister's sayings. For something extremely useless and ridiculous. You can tell she's the wordsmith of the family. *grins*

[x-jeangrey.livejournal.com]

Yes, that sounds like a plan.

We're going to have to do rescheduling when Moira gets back anyway, aren't we? Will stick with things the way they are for now, then, maybe and talk about it then?

It is a very expressive line...

[x-madelyn.livejournal.com]

*nods* And we'll need to reschedule again when babies start appearing - with Hank adopting Dani's, he's going to be occupied for a while, and then Moira's due a couple of months after that. So for now keep the status quo, I think, and wait until the babies appear?

You didn't get to meet Carlie last time she was here - I think she's planning another visit during the summer. She'd be _very_ interested in meeting you, given her interest in mutant rights matters.

[x-jeangrey.livejournal.com]

That works for me, and I'd be glad to meet Calie.

[x-cyclops.livejournal.com]

I hate to play this card, but it's what I was feeling, so I suppose I probably should at least say it once, aloud.

Am I not due a little faith from my fellow staff that I can handle things? I know I've dropped the ball before, or mishandled situations pretty badly. And I know that last fall is a big black mark on my track record for being able to cope with student conflict...

... you know, I think I just answered my own question. Heh. I'll keep in mind that I need to communicate better, Madelyn. I suppose even dropping a note after the fact would have worked better than not saying anything at all.

Although, I'm wondering whether anyone really thought that the argument ended and Manuel stopped making threats spontaneously?

[x-madelyn.livejournal.com]

For all we knew they'd either run out of steam or taken up Shiro's suggestion and were hunting each other down out on the grounds, Soctt. *grins* But point taken.